Tag: presents

For Christmas the children are going to get old socks and squashed mini-eggs this year

This weird thought occurred to me this morning after the following exchange occurred between my middle son and I.

‘Josh, Josh, come here!’
‘Why?’
‘Just come here a minute!’
Why?’
[Sound of silence.]
‘I have a present for you’.
[Sound of child leaping out of bed and running down corridor towards his mother’s voice.]
‘What, what is it?’
[Eager child appears.]
‘I have something for you.’
[Mother grins, hands behind her back.]
‘Show me!’
‘This.’
[Mother reveals present to child, found in a coat pocket.]

An old, crushed mini egg

[Child recoils in horror and retreats back to his room.]

My weird thought is related to this exchange. I noticed with my little joke that my son felt a strong excitement of anticipation for getting this gift (it got him out of bed at least). He had had high hopes. However, the sensation of pleasure (or in this case, disappointment) on receiving the actual gift was much less significant. That moment of emotion was fleeting. The moment of anticipation was not so. If this little exchange is indicative of most gift-giving scenarios, then the pleasure we feel of anticipation of the gift generally lasts longer, is more heightened and much more joyous than the pleasure we feel on final revelation of gift.

Think of how exciting Christmas is. The build up can last weeks (or sometimes months). I imagine the same is felt for impending birthdays (since mine occurs on the same day as Christmas I cannot relate here in the same way). I know my children look forward to their birthdays about 9 months ahead of the event. As for Christmas, they are prone to frequent exploding with excitement prior to the event (as am I).

My point here is that the excitement of anticipation is always there, irrespective of the gifts received on the day. If we could measure that excitement, I expect that there would be very little deviation year on year. If I look back, I would say I have felt equally as excited for Christmas every year since circa. 1974 (when I would have first been able to register that Christmas was a ‘thing’ of excitement). Yet, I bet most people, as do I, have years of preferred presents and years of shitty presents. I know, not many people will admit it but sometimes we do get given shitty presents. There is such a thing as the ‘shitty’ present. My most shitty was too shitty to write about here and I ought to protect the giver’s identity as I don’t think they meant harm and they may read this, but I remember opening it and being utterly gutted that someone would give me ‘that’ for a present. I threw it away a few years ago, unused.

After my mini-egg gift joke I informed my children that for Christmas this year I would be wrapping up a lot of old socks and crushed mini eggs for them and placing them under the Christmas tree. I told them there were two reasons for doing this. Firstly, frugality. Secondly, as I have explained, the excitement of the anticipation will still be there for Christmas irrespective of the gifts given so in my mind there is no need to go to all the effort of choosing special gifts for them all. Their reaction was one of disappointment.

‘But now you’ve told us, we won’t have the excitement of the build up to Christmas,’ one wise child pointed out.
‘Oh,’ I replied. ‘But wise child of mine, you won’t remember this exchange come December. It is June 1st today, and also you wouldn’t think I’d be so harsh as to carry out this evil plan. Ergo, you will still feel the weeks’ long excitement of Christmas and I will save hundreds of pounds by just wrapping up old socks and crushed mini eggs’.
‘Oh but we will remember!’ Piped up another child.
‘Is that so,’ I mused. ‘Tell me, dear child, what did you get for Christmas last year?’
The children paused for thought.
‘That book over there,’ one replied.
‘I got a book from Grandma Bertie and that old camera from Father Christmas’. Another added.
Therein followed a thoughtful pause. I waited. Then I spoke.
‘So none of you have mentioned the main present you each got last year, the most expensive, and in fact the one you played with the most in the weeks following Christmas, an Alexa each,’ I smugly replied.
‘Ohhhhh,’ they all cried in unison. ‘Yeah! We forgot about that!’
‘My point exactly!’ I responded. The children grunted.

So I think I will carry out my ‘threat’. I firmly believe that the anticipation of getting a gift, which is a combination of the pleasure of surprise, the joy of anticipation, the warmth of feeling that someone has done something for us, is far greater than the reality of getting a ‘thing’ irrespective of whether we will treasure that thing or not. I implore you to disagree with me. Go on, try it. This might have some deep philosophical message about the nature of our relationship to each other, to stuff, and the power of the capitalist economy and Guy Debord’s ‘The Society of the Spectacle’.  Think about it.

The Christmas Tree with lots of presents under it – old socks or exciting toys?

I also, cannot now tell you exactly what I got for Christmas. I will have to get back to you on that. I didn’t get any old socks or crushed mini-eggs but perhaps I will this year. And I can’t wait to unwrap them.

The older you get, the more boring your presents are

I have to start this blog with a disclaimer: when I say ‘boring’ I mean it in relative terms (i.e. imagine the judgement is being made by a ten year old). I’m in no way saying that I find the presents I got this year as a forty-something year old boring to me as a forty-something year old. I’m saying that they would be boring to a ten year old.

So this is my weird thought:

When you are five, for example, all your Christmas presents are large. They arrive in huge cardboard boxes, they often need batteries, they flash and play tunes. They are bright. They are interesting. They occupy you for hours. The pleasure you feel on receiving these is high. You feel sick with excitement.

Colourful presents

Colourful presents

Then you are ten. Your presents are a bit smaller but they are still interesting. They still often come in boxes. They might contain sheets of paper and words. They are able to occupy you and your siblings for a good few hours. You still get that sick feeling when you open your presents.

Presents for ten year olds

Presents for ten year olds

Once you get to fifteen, your presents shrink a bit more. In fact, they may shrink quite a lot. They probably don’t come in cardboard. They may be clothes or money, which you will probably spend on clothes or games if you’re into video games but this are small too, as you can even play games online as spin oasis and other casino games as well. You may even get some cleaning products (to clean the skin, rather than the sink). You feel happy, but not excited.

For buying those to-die-for boots with

For buying those to-die-for boots with

At twenty your presents generally increase in size from five years previously. They may be decorative and useful. You will perhaps receive things for the house, or jewellery (of course my experience is gender biased, as I am female, I’m not sure what a twenty-year-old man would get) or a new watch. You may still receive clothing and money.

A nice watch

A nice watch

By thirty, your presents will be much more utilitarian: plates, mugs, kitchen utensils, and the odd vase. You will most certainly receive some self-cleaning products. The money-as-present has now disappeared completely. You may get books and DVDs, especially if you are childless at this point. You feel warm and loved, not excited.

The perfect present for a 30 year old

The perfect present for a 30 year old

At forty, especially if you have young children, your presents will be pamper-related: lots of bathing products, lots of scarfs that you might not buy for yourself, and gloves. You may get jewellery (if female) which is again, not something you’d buy yourself. You could also get some wine or spirits (your children drive you to drink, they think). You enjoy the wine, and wear the scarf. You just feel tired.

Perfect for the school run

Perfect for the school run

At fifty, your presents will consist of more scarfs and bath products. You will no longer receive domestic items – you have all you need. You may now get more books and DVDs as your children, if you had them, are likely to be more independent. You have more time to read and watch. You may also receive wine and candles. You are still tired, the dinner needs cooking.

This is what a 50 year old likes to do for relaxation

This is what a 50 year old likes to do for relaxation

When you reach sixty, I’m afraid, you will get lots of scarfs and bath products. You will also receive chocolate. You can sit in your scarfs, in the bath, and eat chocolate. You feel relaxed, someone else is cooking.

Which one to try first?

Which one to try first?

By seventy, see above. You will probably get slippers as well, and maybe a new dressing gown.

A lovely pair of pink slippers

A lovely pair of pink slippers

By eighty: slippers again.

In case you need another one

In case you need another one

By ninety: definitely slippers. I’m sure when I am ninety I will be very grateful for slippers, but my ten-year-old self would not be happy with a pair of slippers for Christmas.

A very comfortable slipper

A very comfortable slipper

Beyond? I don’t know yet.

So my point, next year if you surprise your seventy-year-old great aunt with something colourful and flashy and she won’t thank you. She was hoping for slippers.

 

 

Why I like Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day

This is the weird thought I’ve had today, it being Christmas Eve.

Everyone is out and about on Christmas Eve

Although all the shops are always very busy on Christmas Eve, everyone is cheerful and full of Christmas spirit. If you go shopping on the 23rd December, or the 22nd, everyone is grumpy and pushy, determined to grab that last bag of sprouts. Wait until Christmas Eve and they are happy and don’t care about the last sprouts. The people who are working in the shops are cheerful and happy to serve you despite the big queues They are wearing their Christmas hats and looking forward to when they can shut their doors to their last customer.

Worth fighting over?

Worth fighting over?

There is excitement about what is under the tree

I love that feeling of expectation that only comes on Christmas Eve. Once Christmas Day arrives and the presents have been opened, that feeling deflates like a whoopee cushion. It’s not that we don’t like the presents we get and we aren’t grateful, but that element of surprise has gone. That ‘it must be a book’ has a name and colour. The magical object becomes tangible and real.

Spot the present

Spot the present

Christmas Eve feels Victorian, and perhaps also medieval

There is something antiquated (but in a good way) about Christmas Eve that Christmas Day lacks. I think it is the carols, the busy ye olde English shops (if you live somewhere like I do with lots of black-and-white Dickensian buildings) and the mulled wine. If you don’t go to church regularly but don’t object to a bit of Christmas church, there’s a good chance you will go to church on Christmas Eve (I used to take the children to the Kristingle service every year) and this always gives me a butterfly feeling about the following day.

People in the pub are your best friends for the night

If you go to the pub on Christmas Eve, the magic is there too. Everyone loves you and you genuinely wish them a Happy Christmas. Wait two weeks and they won’t give you a second glance and they resume their British grumpiness.

The Father Christmas magic

Once night falls, the magical feeling grows exponentially, and as the stockings get hung up on the mantelpiece that expectation of something wonderful in the air and of a special guest coming, is even more heightened. Even at my age, I still believe.

Our magical visitor

Our magical visitor

It never rains on Christmas Eve

Perhaps is just my perception but it feels to me as if the sky is always clear blue on Christmas Eve and there is a frost in the air. That is what the weather is like here today.

And then finally comes Christmas Day…

I like Christmas Day, of course, it is my birthday after all and I get loads of presents, and it is fun. I don’t have to work on Christmas Day and there’s nice stuff to do and lots to eat. However, I find Christmas Day overwhelming. I always feel overloaded by the end of the day: in terms of digestion, alcohol consumption and present opening. Also, my sense of sight, hearing and touch suffer from not enough disk space. I get to a point when I can’t take any more and I crash. I don’t know if that is just me or whether other people feel like that. That doesn’t happen to me on Christmas Eve. It only happens on Christmas Day. I actually dread that point in the day when I feel like that (usually about 6pm). Then the depression sets in as I realise that it is all over. The house is full of stuff, paper, food, boxes and tired people and it will be another 11 months until I can play Christmas music again.

So in conclusion, I wish you, dear reader, a happy Christmas Eve and hope that tomorrow meets your expectations and brings you joy. I think the key is to keep an open mind how Christmas Day will pan out and the day will be good. In other words, take a chill pill. I will try to take one too.

Greg Lake, I Believe in Father Christmas sums up very well how I feel today: excitement, anticipation, wishes, belief, sparkle.

The Smiths Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now sums up my feeling at 6pm on Christmas Day: overindulged, overstimulated, and just plain over.