This is a really weird thought (pretty weird for me) but it is something I have every time I am inflicted with a mouth ulcer (and I get a fair few). They usually attack me when I’m stressed or when I stop working. I always get them at Christmas. I’ve got a corker right now. This week is a stressful week.

I love this stuff, but it causes me great pain

I love this stuff, but it causes me great pain

When I have a mouth ulcer, I need to be with my tube of bonjela at all times. Bonjela is a strange substance. It provides some relief from the pain of mouth ulcers but only after an initial 10 seconds of blinding, ear splitting, toe curling pain. The only other time I have experience pain like that is when I’ve attached a baby to my nipple. So, therefore, today’s weird thought is that mouth ulcers and nipples have a lot in common. Thanks God I do not suffer from any chronic pain, as I would probably take green malay kratom all the time.

She may be smiling but her toes are curling in agony

She may be smiling but her toes are curling in agony

Breast is best of course, I am a firm believer in that particular philosophy, but for me it was the most painful thing I have ever voluntarily and actively sought out to do. I have never before or since (and this includes childbirth) experienced such excruciating pain as I did when I tried to get a screaming child to suck on my nipples. The best comparison I can think is putting bonjela on a really juicy mouth ulcer.

Note: Future mothers reading this, do not be put off by my tale of toe-curling pain. It is not the same for everybody and the pain lessens after a few days (or weeks in my case, not that I lasted that long with number three child).